Five Epic Movies From My Childhood That No Twenty-First Century Kid Should Be Deprived Of Simply Because They Weren't Fortunate Enough To Be Born In The Right Decade.

Disclaimer #1: This is not necessarily a list of the best children/family movies of all time (except, really, it probably is), this is a list of amazing movies from MY childhood, which means that anything newer than mid-ninties was not considered. Nor were animated Disney movies such as The Lion King, Cinderella, etc. because, really, those go without saying.

Disclaimer #2:  I watched a ton of movies as a child that were the absolute shiz - this list is not inclusive of all of those titles, as I did not care to spend 13.6 hours on this post. If you find that the proceeding list is exhausted too quickly for your preference, simply contact me for more suggestions regarding 80's/90's cinematic awesomeness. I limited this list to Classics only. The criteria for a Classic is as follows: a) I say it's a Classic, and b) It is a movie that I thought highly enough of to purchase on DVD as an adult, despite the fact that the youngest person residing in my home will be turning twenty-five this year. Except for Hook - for some reason, I do not currently own Hook. Which is unfortunate, since it is no longer available on Netflix instant stream. Yes, I do except birthday presents year-round.

They are, in no particular order, as follows:

Back to the Future Trilogy
Part I: Too Cool For School Seventeen Year-Old gets sent back to 1955 via a Delorian time machine invented by his Elderly Scientist Homeslice and must then solicite the help of the 1950's version of said ESH to get back to the year 1985. Part II: Same Seventeen Year-Old travels to 2015 to help save his future kids from an Undesirable Fate, buys a sports almanac that gets into the wrong hands, 1985 gets royally screwed up, and he goes back to 1955 so that everything can be set right again. Part III: Same Seventeen Year-Old travels to 1885 to save his Elderly Scientist Homeslice from an Undesirable Fate, does not purchase a sports almanac, and 1985 does not get royally screwed up.

The Chipmunk Adventure
The Chipmunks & Chipettes participate in a hot air balloon race around the world with hopes of winning $100,000. They think they are merely giving a pair of Weird Rich Siblings some entertainment but they are actually helping them launder money. Good thing they can sing their way out of pretty much anything.

The Sandlot
Nine boys. One summer. Baseball. ScaryAss Dog that *spoiler* is not really all that ScaryAss.

Homeward Bound
Three animal friends travel A Long, Long Way to find the human family that they mistakenly believe has left them behind. The trio consists of a Grandfatherly Golden Retriever, a Mischevious American Bull Dog, and a SmartAss Cat who *spoiler* really is that SmartAss.

See, even the dvd cover says it's a classic.

Hook
Peter Pan is grown up and now goes by Peter Banning and has no recollection of his life as Peter Pan. Hook kidnaps his kids, so Tinkerbell brings him back to Neverland to save them. While in Neverland, he starts wearing make-up and tights and participates in The Most Epic Imaginary Food Fight Of All Time.

Fun Facts:

1. Michael J. Fox and/or his voice is featured in two of the movies on my list, four if you count each BTTF movie separately. My deduction: Michael J. Fox = the shiz.

2. When I was growing up, The Sandlot was banned from our home for a period several months due to my youngest brother's insatiable need to refer to me as "butt sniffer".

3. I heart Simon's sarcasm.

4. I recently listened to the soundtrack from Hook for the first time (thank you, Spotify), and it's quite good. I would like to recommend it to anyone who enjoyed the movie and, like me, is twenty-one years behind the times. Track #3 borders on sounding like Early Ninties Hold Music, but, other than that.

5. I may or may not also still listen to the Chipmunk Adventure soundtrack, sing along to every song, and do a full-fledged performance, complete with air guitar/microphone and Sweet Dance Moves, during The Girls of Rock N' Roll.

6. I, without fail, cry during the last two minutes of Homeward Bound every time I watch it. I say this with no shame.

7. I'm really excited that we are less than three years away from 2015 - then I can finally drive a flying car, ride a Hoverboard, and be considered fashionable when I accidentally put my pants on inside out.


So, those are my Five Epic Movies From My Childhood That No Tweny-First Century Kid Should Be Deprived Of Simply Because They Weren't Fortunate Enough To Be Born In The Right Decade. Is there anything you would add to or remove from the list if it was yours? Inquiring minds want to know.


Happy Thursday.